The Holiday Chaos Nobody Warns You About
I’ll never forget the Christmas my Golden Retriever, Biscuit, ate an entire plate of gingerbread cookies off the coffee table while we were answering the door for guests. That was also the year she discovered wrapping paper was, apparently, delicious. By 9 PM she was panting, pacing, and had thrown up on my mother-in-law’s coat.
Holidays are stressful enough without your dog losing their mind. But here’s the thing — your dog isn’t being “bad” during the holidays. They’re overwhelmed. The house smells different, sounds different, looks different. Strange people keep showing up and trying to pet them. Their routine is shot. And you’re too busy stuffing a turkey or untangling lights to notice the warning signs until someone’s shoe gets destroyed.
After fifteen years of dogs and more holiday disasters than I’d like to admit, I’ve figured out what actually works to keep your dog calm during the holidays — and what’s a total waste of money. Some of this might surprise you.
Why Holidays Hit Dogs So Hard
Dogs are creatures of routine. Like, seriously. My Border Collie mix, Pepper, used to start pacing if dinner was ten minutes late. So imagine what happens when suddenly the living room has a tree in it, there’s music blaring, the doorbell won’t stop ringing, and the house is full of people who smell like airports and perfume.
The stress triggers stack up fast:
- Disrupted feeding and walking schedules
- New decorations (some of which move, flash, or make noise)
- Unfamiliar guests — including kids who grab and shriek
- Rich food smells everywhere
- Your own stress, which they absolutely pick up on
- Loud noises from fireworks, party poppers, or New Year’s celebrations
A 2019 study from the University of Lincoln found that dogs mirror their owners’ cortisol levels. So when you’re frantic about whether the roast is burning? Your dog feels that. They just can’t pour themselves a glass of wine to cope.
Set Up a Calm Zone Before the Chaos Starts
This is the single best thing you can do, and it costs nothing. Before any guests arrive or decorations go up, designate a quiet room as your dog’s retreat.
I use our spare bedroom. It’s got Pepper’s crate (door always open), her bed, a water bowl, and a Kong stuffed with peanut butter. I’ll turn on a white noise machine — the Yogasleep Dohm is what I use, about $45 — and honestly, sometimes I want to hide in there too.
What makes a good calm zone:
- Away from the front door. Doorbell = maximum dog excitement. Distance helps.
- Familiar bedding. Don’t wash their blanket right before — they need that comforting smell.
- Background noise. White noise, classical music, or even a boring podcast. Anything to muffle the party sounds. There’s actual research backing classical music for dog anxiety — a study from the Scottish SPCA and University of Glasgow showed it reduced shelter dogs’ stress behaviors significantly.
- Something to chew. A frozen Kong, a bully stick, a lick mat with yogurt. Chewing is self-soothing for dogs.
Don’t wait until your dog is already stressed to introduce this space. Start a few days early. Let them hang out there with treats so it feels like a reward, not a punishment.
Exercise Them Hard Before Guests Arrive
I cannot stress this enough. A tired dog is a calm dog. It’s the oldest trick in the book and it works every single time.
The morning of any holiday gathering, I do a 45-minute to hour-long walk with both dogs. Not a leisurely stroll — an actual workout. Fetch at the park, a trail hike, swimming if the weather cooperates. For Pepper, I’ll do scent work games in the backyard because mental exercise drains her faster than physical.
If you’ve got a high-energy breed — think Labradors, Huskies, Aussies — double your normal exercise that day. Seriously. You want them pleasantly exhausted by the time Uncle Steve shows up with his booming laugh and heavy cologne.
Quick pre-party exercise ideas:
| Activity | Time Needed | Energy Drain | Best For |
|---|---|---|---|
| Fetch/frisbee | 20-30 min | High | Retrievers, athletic breeds |
| Sniff walk (let them lead) | 40-60 min | Medium-High | All dogs, especially anxious ones |
| Frozen Kong puzzle | 15-20 min | Medium | Any dog, great add-on |
| Flirt pole play | 10-15 min | Very High | Terriers, high-prey-drive breeds |
| Training session | 20 min | Medium-High | Smart breeds, dogs that love to work |
Don’t skip this step. I know you’re busy prepping food and cleaning. Get up earlier. It’s worth it.
Managing Guests and Greetings
Here’s where most holiday dog disasters happen. The doorbell rings, the dog goes berserk, you’re trying to hug Aunt Carol while your Lab is jumping on her with muddy paws, and the whole thing spirals.
My system for door greetings:
Put the dog in their calm zone about 15 minutes before the first guest is expected. Let the initial chaos of arrivals happen without them. Once everyone’s settled, coats are off, and the energy has dropped from a 10 to a 6, then bring your dog out on a leash.
Yes, a leash inside the house. I know it feels weird. But it gives you control, and it gives your dog a clear signal that you’re in charge of this situation. Let them approach guests at their own pace. Some dogs want to sniff everyone immediately. Others need ten minutes of watching from across the room first.
Brief your guests
This part matters and people always skip it. Before your dog comes out, tell your guests:
- Don’t rush the dog or reach for their face
- Let the dog come to them
- No feeding the dog from the table (I’m looking at you, Grandpa)
- If the dog retreats, let them go
I’ve started sending a quick text to guests beforehand. Something like: “Hey, Pepper can be nervous around new people — if you could ignore her for the first 10 minutes, she’ll warm up and be your best friend.” Nobody’s ever been offended by this. Most people appreciate it.
Natural Calming Aids That Actually Work (and Ones That Don’t)
I’ve tried just about everything over the years, so let me save you some money and disappointment.
Worth trying:
- Adaptil diffuser or collar. This releases dog-appeasing pheromone — the same chemical nursing mothers produce. I plug in an Adaptil diffuser in the calm zone about a week before the holidays. It doesn’t work on every dog, but when it does, the difference is noticeable. Around $25-35 for a starter kit.
- ThunderShirt. The gentle pressure thing is real — it’s like swaddling a baby. Works great for my Golden but Pepper couldn’t care less. Worth the $40 gamble in my opinion.
- CBD treats from a reputable brand. I’ve used Honest Paws and noticed a mild but real calming effect. Talk to your vet first though, especially if your dog’s on medication.
- Lick mats and frozen Kongs. Repetitive licking releases endorphins. This isn’t woo-woo — it’s basic behavioral science.
Skip these:
- Lavender oil “calming sprays” — most are too diluted to do anything, and some essential oils are genuinely toxic to dogs.
- Rescue Remedy — I wanted this to work so badly. Used it for three different dogs over five years. Never saw any effect. Expensive water, in my experience.
- Melatonin without vet guidance — the dosing is tricky and some formulations contain xylitol, which is deadly for dogs.
If your dog has severe anxiety — we’re talking destructive behavior, nonstop panting, drooling, or self-harm — that’s beyond holiday tips. That’s a vet conversation about medication like trazodone or sileo. No shame in it.
Holiday Food and Decoration Hazards
While we’re talking about keeping your dog calm during the holidays, let’s cover what can actually hurt them. Because a stressed dog is also a dog who’s more likely to eat something they shouldn’t.
The danger list people always forget:
- Chocolate — obvious, but dark chocolate and baking chocolate are far more dangerous than milk chocolate. One ounce of baker’s chocolate per pound of body weight is potentially lethal.
- Xylitol — in sugar-free candy, gum, some peanut butters, baked goods. Causes liver failure in dogs. Check every label.
- Cooked bones — turkey and chicken bones splinter. Every vet ER sees this on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
- Tinsel and ribbon — cats get blamed for this one, but dogs eat it too. It can cause intestinal blockage that requires surgery.
- Poinsettias — actually less toxic than people think (mild GI upset), but lilies are the real killer. One bite can cause kidney failure in cats, and they’re not great for dogs either.
I keep baby gates between the kitchen and the rest of the house during cooking. It’s the simplest solution. My dogs have learned that the gate means “not your space right now,” and they barely protest anymore.
New Year’s Eve — The Forgotten Holiday
Everyone talks about keeping your dog calm during the holidays around Christmas, but New Year’s Eve is honestly worse for most dogs. Fireworks are the number one noise phobia trigger in dogs, and it’s not even close.
My New Year’s protocol:
Walk them well before dark. Feed dinner early. By 8 PM, both dogs are in the calm zone with the white noise machine cranked up, curtains drawn, and a high-value chew to work on. I check on them every 30 minutes or so. Pepper gets her ThunderShirt on by 7.
If your dog has a serious fireworks phobia, talk to your vet about situational medication. Trazodone takes about two hours to kick in, so you need to plan ahead. Sileo (dexmedetomidine gel) works faster and was specifically developed for noise phobias. It’s prescription only but absolutely worth asking about.
Never, ever take your dog to a fireworks display. I don’t care how “chill” they seem — the noise at close range can cause permanent hearing damage, and even bomb-proof dogs can panic in a crowd.
Frequently Asked Questions
How early should I start preparing my dog for holiday stress?
Start at least a week before the big event. Set up the calm zone, plug in the Adaptil diffuser, and begin adjusting their routine gradually. If you know your dog struggles with guests, do a practice run — invite one friend over and work through your greeting protocol. Last-minute prep doesn’t cut it for anxious dogs.
My dog gets aggressive with strangers — should I still have guests over?
Yes, but with serious management. Keep your dog completely separated in their calm zone with the door closed for the entire event. This isn’t cruel — it’s safe. A bite incident at a holiday party is a nightmare for everyone, especially the dog. If guest-aggression is an ongoing issue, work with a certified behaviorist (look for CAAB or ACVB credentials, not just any “trainer”) outside of the holiday season.
Can I give my dog Benadryl to calm them down during parties?
Diphenhydramine (Benadryl) is generally safe for dogs at 1mg per pound of body weight, and it does cause drowsiness. But it’s a sedative, not an anti-anxiety medication — your dog might be too sleepy to react, but they’re still stressed internally. It’s fine as a short-term option for mild cases, but check with your vet first, especially for dogs with heart conditions, glaucoma, or those on other meds.
What if my dog already had a bad holiday experience last year?
Dogs remember. If your dog had a panic episode last Christmas, they may already associate certain triggers (suitcases coming out, the tree going up) with that fear. Start counter-conditioning early — pair those triggers with amazing things like chicken, cheese, or their favorite game. Go slow. And genuinely consider whether this year’s holiday setup needs to change to accommodate them. Maybe it’s a smaller gathering. Maybe it’s at someone else’s house. Your dog’s mental health matters.
Are “calming” dog treats worth buying?
Some are. Look for ones with L-theanine, chamomile, or melatonin as active ingredients — these have at least some research behind them. Avoid anything that just says “calming blend” without listing specific amounts. I’ve had decent results with Zesty Paws calming bites, but the effect is subtle. Think of them as one tool in the toolbox, not a magic fix.
The Bottom Line
Keeping your dog calm during the holidays comes down to three things: preparation, management, and realistic expectations. Your dog doesn’t understand why the house transformed overnight or why strangers keep hugging you. They just know everything feels different and a bit scary.
Give them a safe space, burn off their energy, manage the environment, and pay attention to what they’re telling you. A dog that retreats to their bed isn’t being antisocial — they’re coping. Let them.
And if all else fails? There’s no rule that says your dog has to be part of the party. Some of my best holiday memories involve checking on Pepper in the spare room, finding her curled up on her bed with a half-chewed Kong, completely unbothered. That’s a win.
Featured Image Source: Pexels
