The first time I left my Golden Retriever puppy, Duke, alone in his crate, you’d have thought I was abandoning him on a desert island. The howling. The scratching. The guilt that hit me before I even made it to my car. I sat in the driveway for ten minutes wondering if I’d broken my dog.
I hadn’t. And if your puppy cries when left alone, you haven’t broken yours either. But what you do next — how you train a puppy to be alone — matters enormously. Get it right in the first few weeks, and you’re building a confident, settled dog. Rush it or ignore it, and you could be dealing with separation-related problems for years.
After raising three puppies of my own and coaching dozens of friends through this exact phase, I’ve landed on a protocol that works. It’s not complicated. But it does require patience and a willingness to go slower than you think you need to.
Why Puppies Cry When Left Alone (It’s Normal, Not Naughty)
Before we fix the crying, let’s understand it. Because your puppy isn’t being manipulative. They’re not “testing you.” They’re genuinely distressed — and that’s a completely normal biological response.
Developmental Stages and Attachment Formation
Puppies are hardwired to stay close to their caregivers. In the wild, a puppy separated from its pack is a dead puppy. That instinct doesn’t vanish because we’ve given them a nice bed and a Kong toy.
Between 8 and 14 weeks — right when most puppies come home — they’re in a critical attachment period. They’ve just lost their mother and littermates. You’re now their entire world. So when you disappear behind a door, their brain screams danger.
This isn’t a flaw. It’s actually a sign of healthy bonding. The puppy who doesn’t care when you leave at 9 weeks old? That’s the one I’d worry about.
By about 16-20 weeks, most puppies start developing enough emotional resilience to handle short separations — if you’ve been building that tolerance gradually. The keyword there is gradually.
Confinement Distress vs True Separation Anxiety
Here’s something most articles get wrong: they lump all crying together. But there’s a real difference between a puppy who hates being in a crate and a puppy who can’t handle being away from you.
Confinement distress means your puppy is upset about being restricted. Put them behind a baby gate instead of in a crate, and the crying stops. This is common and usually easier to resolve.
Separation distress means your puppy panics when you — specifically you — disappear. They’d cry whether they were in a crate, a pen, or a whole room. This is trickier.
And then there’s true separation anxiety, which is a clinical condition affecting roughly 20-40% of dogs to some degree. In puppies under 6 months, we typically call it separation distress rather than anxiety, because their brains are still developing. But the distinction matters because the approach differs.
Watch your puppy carefully. Do they settle if you move them to a pen instead of a crate? Does the crying stop if they can see you? That tells you what you’re actually dealing with.
The Gradual Departure Protocol — Week by Week
This is the puppy separation training schedule I use with every puppy now. I wish someone had given it to me before Duke. I learned it the hard way, then found that separation anxiety specialist Malena DeMartini recommends essentially the same approach.
The core principle: never push your puppy past the point where they panic. You’re building tolerance like a muscle, not flooding them with exposure.
Days 1-3: Being in the Same Room but Not Engaging
Don’t even think about leaving the house yet. Seriously.
For the first three days, practice just… not interacting. Sit on the couch and scroll your phone. Let your puppy settle on a bed or mat near you. If they come nudge you, ignore them gently. No eye contact, no petting, no talking.
What you’re teaching: being near you doesn’t always mean getting attention from you. This is the foundation everything else builds on.
I know it sounds too simple. Do it anyway. Aim for 10-15 minute stretches of zero engagement, three or four times a day. Give your puppy a stuffed Kong or a bully stick to work on during these sessions.
Days 4-7: Stepping Out of Sight for Seconds
Now you start disappearing. And I mean for seconds — literally.
- Stand up and walk to the doorway. Walk back. Sit down.
- Walk through the doorway. Come right back. Sit down.
- Walk through the doorway, count to five. Come back.
- Walk to the bathroom. Close the door. Open it immediately.
No fanfare. No “I’ll be right back, buddy!” Just casual movement. You’re making your departures boring.
If your puppy stays calm, gradually extend those out-of-sight moments to 10, then 20, then 30 seconds. If they start whining, you’ve gone too far — dial it back.
By the end of the first week, most puppies can handle you being out of sight for about 30-60 seconds without losing it. That might not sound like much. But it’s huge progress.
Week 2: Short Absences (2-10 Minutes)
This is where the real training happens. You’re going to start leaving through the actual front door.
Here’s my week 2 schedule — adjust based on your puppy’s responses:
| Day | Session 1 | Session 2 | Session 3 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Day 8 | 1 min | 1 min | 2 min |
| Day 9 | 2 min | 3 min | 2 min |
| Day 10 | 3 min | 5 min | 3 min |
| Day 11 | 5 min | 4 min | 7 min |
| Day 12 | 7 min | 5 min | 8 min |
| Day 13 | 8 min | 10 min | 6 min |
| Day 14 | 10 min | 8 min | 10 min |
Notice how the times don’t just go up? You bounce around. That’s intentional. You don’t want your puppy learning that each absence is longer than the last. That builds anticipatory anxiety. Mix in shorter sessions between the longer ones.
Set up a camera. A cheap pet cam or even an old phone running a video call — whatever works. You need to see what your puppy does when you’re gone. Are they pacing and panting? Or do they sniff around, maybe whine for 30 seconds, then settle? The camera removes all guesswork.
Three sessions per day is ideal. More is fine. Just don’t stack them too close together — give your puppy at least an hour between sessions.
Week 3-4: Building to 30+ Minutes
By week three, if you’ve followed the protocol, most puppies can handle 10-15 minutes alone. Now you’re pushing toward that magic 30-minute mark.
Why 30 minutes? Because in my experience — and DeMartini’s research backs this up — a puppy who can do 30 minutes can usually do an hour. And a puppy who can do an hour can often do two or three. The hardest part is the first 15 minutes. After that, most puppies just sleep.
Week 3 schedule guidelines:
– Push toward 15-20 minutes in the first few days
– Mix in some 5-minute sessions to keep it unpredictable
– By end of week 3, aim for a couple of 25-30 minute absences
– Week 4, start testing 45 minutes to an hour
– Always vary the duration — don’t make it a steady climb
And here’s the part nobody tells you: there will be bad days. Your puppy might nail 20 minutes on Tuesday and lose it at 12 minutes on Wednesday. That’s normal. Don’t panic. Just drop back to what worked and rebuild.
My Border Collie, Jess, set me back a full week because she had a bad experience with a thunderstorm while I was out. We went back to 5-minute departures and worked up again. Within 10 days she was back on track.
Setting Up the Alone-Time Environment
The physical setup matters more than people think. You’re creating a space that tells your puppy: this is safe, this is boring, this is where naps happen.
Confinement Area vs Free Roam — Age Guidelines
The question I get asked most: crate or no crate?
My answer: it depends on the puppy and what your camera shows you.
Under 12 weeks: A crate or small exercise pen is usually best. The limited space actually helps many puppies settle faster. Too much room and they wander, get worked up, find things to destroy.
12-16 weeks: If your puppy is calm in the crate, stick with it. If they show confinement distress (scratching at the door, biting bars), try an exercise pen or a puppy-proofed room instead.
4-6 months: Start testing slightly larger areas. A kitchen with a baby gate works well. Keep the crate available as an option — some dogs love it permanently.
6+ months: Many puppies can handle a full room or even two rooms. But don’t rush to full house access. That’s an invitation for chewing and accidents.
One thing I feel strongly about: never use the crate as punishment. Not ever. It needs to be a good place. Feed meals in there. Toss treats in randomly. Let your puppy choose to go in on their own.
Background Noise (TV, Music, White Noise)
Leave something on. Always.
A silent house amplifies every outside noise — the neighbor’s car door, a delivery truck, squirrels on the roof. Each sound becomes a potential trigger for barking and anxiety.
What works best? Research from a 2017 study at the Scottish SPCA showed classical music reduced stress behaviors in shelter dogs. But honestly, I’ve found talk radio works just as well. The steady hum of human voices seems to comfort most puppies.
What I do: I leave a TV on a home renovation show at low volume. Something with calm talking and occasional background noise. Not action movies. Not shows with doorbells — learned that one the hard way with Duke.
White noise machines work great too, especially for apartment puppies where neighbor noise is constant.
Long-Lasting Chews and Puzzle Toys
This is your secret weapon. You want your puppy’s brain occupied for the first 5-10 minutes after you leave — that’s the highest-anxiety window.
My go-to alone-time lineup:
- Frozen stuffed Kong — peanut butter, banana, and kibble, frozen overnight. This buys you 15-20 minutes easily.
- Lick mat with yogurt — freeze it for a slower experience.
- Bully sticks or yak chews — longer lasting but supervise first to make sure your puppy handles them safely.
- Snuffle mat — sprinkle kibble in the folds. Great for scent-driven breeds.
Only give these items when you leave. That’s critical. They become the signal that alone time means good things happen. If the Kong is always available, it loses its magic.
And rotate them. Monday is Kong day. Tuesday is lick mat. Wednesday is a snuffle mat. Keep it interesting.
The Biggest Mistakes Puppy Owners Make
I’ve made most of these myself. Don’t feel bad if any of them sound familiar.
Making Departures and Arrivals Dramatic
“Okay baby, mommy’s leaving now, you be a good girl, I’ll be back soon, I love you so much—”
Stop. Please stop.
Every emotional goodbye teaches your puppy that departures are a big deal. And if departures are a big deal, they must be something to worry about.
Same with arrivals. If you burst through the door with “OH I MISSED YOU SO MUCH” and scoop up your puppy, you’re confirming that your absence was terrible and your return is the best thing ever. That contrast fuels anxiety.
What to do instead: Ignore your puppy for the first 2-3 minutes when you come home. I know. It’s painful. But wait until they’re calm, then give them quiet attention. Before you leave, just… leave. Pick up your keys, walk out. No speeches.
My rule: departures and arrivals should be the most boring parts of your puppy’s day.
Comforting a Crying Puppy (When It Helps vs Hurts)
This is where the dog training world gets heated. The old-school advice was clear: never comfort a crying puppy or you’ll reinforce the behavior.
Here’s what the current research says: it’s more complicated than that.
Dr. Karen Overall and Malena DeMartini both argue that you can’t reinforce fear. Fear is an emotion, not a behavior. If your puppy is genuinely terrified, comforting them won’t make the fear worse.
But — and this is a big but — there’s a difference between comforting a panicking puppy and rushing back every time they whine. If you return at the first peep, you are teaching them that crying makes you appear.
My approach:
- Genuine panic (howling, trembling, scratching, panting): Go back. You’ve pushed too far. Comfort briefly, then adjust your training plan to easier steps.
- Mild whining for 30-60 seconds that stops on its own: Leave it. This is normal settling behavior.
- Escalating crying that doesn’t stop after 2-3 minutes: Go back. You don’t want your puppy practicing prolonged distress.
The key insight: the goal isn’t to teach your puppy to endure crying. It’s to set up situations where they don’t need to cry at all.
Leaving Too Long Too Soon
This is the number one mistake. Bar none. Someone gets a puppy on Friday, does great over the weekend, then leaves for an 8-hour workday on Monday. The puppy falls apart. And now you’re not starting from zero — you’re starting from negative, because the puppy has learned that being alone is awful.
A puppy under 12 weeks should not be left alone for more than 1 hour.
A puppy 12-16 weeks: 2 hours maximum.
A puppy 4-6 months: 3-4 hours maximum.
And those are maximum bladder limits, not comfort limits. Your puppy’s emotional tolerance will be lower than their bladder capacity for a while.
If you work full time, you need a plan. A dog walker, a neighbor who can pop in, a puppy daycare for a couple days a week, working from home during the first month. This isn’t optional — it’s how you prevent separation anxiety in puppies.
Breed Predispositions to Separation Difficulty
Not all puppies are created equal when it comes to alone time. Breed matters. A lot.
Velcro Breeds (Cavaliers, Vizslas, Frenchies)
Some breeds were literally developed to be on their person’s lap. Asking them to be alone is working against centuries of selective breeding.
Breeds that typically struggle more with separation:
- Cavalier King Charles Spaniels — Bred as companion dogs. They want to be touching you at all times. Plan for a slower training timeline.
- Vizslas — The original velcro dog. Gorgeous, athletic, and they will follow you to the bathroom forever.
- French Bulldogs — Companion bred and people-obsessed. They also tend to be vocal about their displeasure.
- Italian Greyhounds — Sensitive, clingy, and dramatic. A triple threat for separation training.
- Bichon Frise — Bred to be human companions for centuries. Alone time doesn’t come naturally.
- German Shepherds — This surprises people, but their loyalty and handler focus means they bond hard and fast.
- Labrador Retrievers — Not usually the worst, but their social nature means some individuals really struggle.
With these breeds, expect the training schedule to take 50-100% longer. That week-by-week protocol might become a two-week-by-two-week protocol. That’s fine. Rushing it will cost you more time in the long run.
Independent Breeds That Adjust Faster
On the other end of the spectrum, some breeds take to alone time like they were made for it. Because, well, they kind of were.
- Basset Hounds — Content to nap on the couch whether you’re there or not.
- Shiba Inus — Independent to a fault. Some actively prefer their alone time.
- Chow Chows — Aloof and self-sufficient. They’ll acknowledge your return. Maybe.
- Greyhounds — The 40-mph couch potato. Most adapt to alone time quickly after retirement.
- Akitas — Loyal but independent. They’re comfortable with their own company.
Even with independent breeds, still follow the gradual protocol. Don’t just assume your Shiba puppy will be fine for four hours at 10 weeks old. Give every puppy the chance to succeed.
When Crying Becomes a Veterinary Issue
Sometimes the crying isn’t about training at all. Here’s when to call your vet:
See your vet if your puppy:
– Has sudden onset crying when they were previously fine alone
– Shows physical symptoms: drooling excessively, vomiting, diarrhea, or self-harm (bleeding paws, broken teeth from crate biting)
– Won’t eat treats or engage with toys when you’re away — even briefly
– Shows extreme distress (full panic) that doesn’t improve after 3-4 weeks of consistent, gradual training
– Loses house training when alone despite being reliable when you’re home
Genuine separation anxiety — the clinical kind — sometimes needs veterinary intervention. That might mean anti-anxiety medication to take the edge off while you work on behavior modification. There’s no shame in that. Some dogs have brain chemistry that makes this disproportionately hard, and medication combined with training gets better results than either alone.
Your vet may also refer you to a veterinary behaviorist or a certified separation anxiety trainer (look for CSAT credentials). For severe cases, this is money well spent.
One thing I want to be direct about: separation anxiety doesn’t mean you’re a bad owner. It doesn’t mean you did something wrong. Some dogs are genetically predisposed, and even a perfect training protocol can’t always override that wiring. What matters is that you get help early rather than hoping they’ll “grow out of it.”
Frequently Asked Questions
How long will my puppy cry when left alone before they stop?
Most puppies will settle within 10-15 minutes if the absence is within their trained tolerance. If your puppy is still crying hard after 15-20 minutes, the duration is too long for their current skill level. Go back to shorter absences. With consistent training, most puppies show major improvement within 2-4 weeks.
Should I let my puppy cry it out?
No. The “cry it out” method can actually make separation distress worse, especially in puppies under 16 weeks. It can create negative associations with being alone that persist into adulthood. Instead, use the gradual departure protocol where you build tolerance in small, manageable increments. The goal is to train a puppy to be alone at a pace where they rarely need to cry at all.
Can I leave a radio or TV on for my puppy?
Yes, and I strongly recommend it. Background noise masks startling sounds from outside and can have a calming effect. Classical music and talk shows work well. Keep the volume low — just enough to provide a consistent audio backdrop. Start playing it during your training sessions so your puppy associates it with settling.
My puppy is fine in the crate but cries when I leave the house. What’s going on?
This is classic separation distress as opposed to confinement distress. Your puppy isn’t upset about the crate — they’re upset about losing access to you. The training protocol above addresses exactly this. Focus on the gradual departure steps, and make sure you’re practicing actual exits through the front door, not just moving to another room.
At what age can a puppy be left alone for a full workday?
Most dogs aren’t ready for 8 hours alone until they’re at least 8-12 months old, and even then it should be built up gradually. Puppies under 6 months shouldn’t be alone for more than 3-4 hours due to both bladder limitations and emotional development. If you work full time, arrange for a midday visit from a dog walker or neighbor, or use puppy daycare for part of the week.
Does getting a second dog fix separation anxiety?
Sometimes, but don’t count on it. If your puppy is bonded specifically to you, another dog won’t fill that void. Some dogs with separation anxiety are anxious even with another dog present. That said, for puppies who just get lonely and bored, a companion can help. But getting a second dog should never be your primary strategy for addressing separation distress — fix the underlying issue with training first.
Wrapping Up
Training your puppy to be alone isn’t glamorous work. There’s no dramatic transformation moment. It’s just quiet, consistent, boring repetition — day after day of stepping out for slightly longer, coming back, and doing it again.
But here’s what I can tell you after doing this with three puppies: the investment pays off for the entire life of your dog. Duke is 9 now. I can leave him for six hours and come home to find him exactly where I left him on the couch, maybe with a different toy in his mouth. Jess is the same. That peace of mind — for both of us — started with those annoying 30-second departures when they were babies.
Start today. Go slow. Watch the camera. And when your puppy naps through their first 30-minute absence, you’ll know every tedious minute was worth it.
Featured Image Source: Pexels
